Three Cheers for Near-Beers! Cut the Booze and Enjoy Your Brews

According to the Internet, “hold my beer” tends to be uttered moments before a spectacular face-plant, belly flop, or whack to the groin. This typically happens when some blitzed beer-chugger just saw his buddy do something outrageous and needs both hands free to take the stunt to the next disastrous level.

Had these poor guys been drinking alcohol-free beer, their viral video embarrassment could have been avoided. That’s just the beginning of the benefits of drinking beer that contains very little or no alcohol. 

Three cheers for tasty near-beers!

No- and low-alcohol brews have come a long way over the past few years, with well-known brands upping their games and Canadian craft breweries jumping into the action.

Here are some of the tastiest alcohol-free beer options available in Canada:

Heineken 0.0

Available in most grocery stores and online, the alcohol-free version of the world’s sixth-most-popular lager also contains less than half the calories of its boozy equivalent. This one is easy to drink, light, tasty, and goes down easy. 

Sober Carpenter

This award-winning Montreal craft microbrewery produces five non-alcoholic beers: an IPA, an organic session IPA, a blonde ale, a Belgian white, and an Irish red. All are available in supermarkets across Canada, as well as online. Their IPA is popular amongst NA beer enthusiasts. It is bitter – like an IPA should be – with flavours of orange peel and grapefruit and a slightly dry finish.

Partake Brewing

Calgary is home to this craft brewer, which adds a stout to the non-alcoholic mix. Incredibly, Partake’s pale ale has just 10 calories. All five Partake beers are available online and in grocery and liquor stores across Canada. The pale ale packs a lot of flavour for a non-alcoholic beer with a fruity and citrusy taste. The medium bitterness is well balanced by a caramel malt sweetness.

Athletic Brewing Co.

Athletic Brewing Co. is based out of Connecticut and specializes in alcohol-free beers. The founder noticed a lack of good NA beers on the market and teamed up with an award-winning craft brewer. They have options like stout, IPAs, and ale. Their IPA uses a blend of 5 hops, giving this beer a fruity, citrusy, and hazy flavour.

Peroni Libera

The Peroni Brewery has been around since 1846, so they have a lot of experience creating delicious brews. This beer is not hoppy and leans more towards the sweet side, but it is crisp, refreshing, and goes down easy. This one is available in most grocery stores that sell NA beers. 

Alcohol-free beer benefits

Non-alcoholic beer bottles and cans often look so much like regular ones that many guys have been “tricked” into cutting out booze. They can blame the packaging all they want, but the real reason for this mixup is that many non-alcoholic beers taste just as good as the regular stuff. Near-beer is an excellent option for beer lovers seeking awesome health benefits. 

Switching from beer to near-beer can help with hangovers and promote weight loss. It also helps you maintain normal bodily functions like blood circulation, food digestion, and joint lubrication while reducing the risk of heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and liver disease. 

What other benefits does non-alcoholic beer have? 

No more hangovers

Taking alcohol out of the beer-drinking equation ensures you won’t suffer from a head-pounding hangover the next morning. Cheers to THAT!

Stay hydrated

Because there’s little or no alcohol in near-beer, drinking it is more hydrating than drinking regular beer. It’s not as hydrating as a glass of water, but if you’re craving a beer, it definitely leans more on the hydrating side than the dehydrating side of the fence. 

Give your liver a break

The liver is your body’s workhorse. From screening and processing food and drink to cleaning your blood of toxins and keeping your hormones and cholesterol in check, the organ performs more than 500 functions that are vital to keeping you alive. Pushing your liver too hard by overdoing it with booze can have serious health consequences, which is one of the reasons why switching to near beer is such a good call.

Bust your beer gut

Because near-beer tends to contain far fewer calories and carbs than regular brews, drinking it can help keep a beer gut in check. This, in turn, will make you more attractive, which means you could see more action in the bedroom. Yes, please! On that note, alcohol is notorious for fuelling desire but hurting performance in bed, so there’s another GREAT reason to cut down on it.

Support solid snooze-time

Alcohol can do a number on the quality of sleep you get, while booze-fuelled bathroom breaks can interrupt your slumber. Switch to near beer, and hey presto, sleep problem solved! 

Live your best life

Reducing your alcohol intake will allow you to fully appreciate life’s many joys: Laughing with loved ones, playing with your kids, fishing, hiking, bowling, going to the movies, getting it on…you get the idea. Drink less alcohol, and you’ll enjoy everything else in life and much more! 

So the next time a buddy tries to jump over a dumpster on a riding lawnmower, ask someone to hold your alcohol-free beer…and use both hands to help him get back up.

Have you tried any great alcohol-free beers? If so, share your faves in the comments below!