About a year ago, I started a grueling cross-country marathon that pushed my body past its breaking point. Today, I’m finally feeling what I call “back to normal”.

Running across Canada for mental health ironically took a massive toll on my own wellbeing. For a long time after the finish line I was physically and mentally exhausted. But the recovery process taught me a hard lesson: sometimes the most productive thing you can do for your health is to completely stop, rest and reset.

That’s why I’m joining the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation (CMHF) as a National Champion. For me, this role isn’t a vanity badge or a pat on the back. It’s a partnership built on credibility and collaboration.

Facing hard things face-first

Going back even further —  to 2019 — my life looked very different. I was navigating a career in border security, a difficult divorce and immense life stress. Like a lot of guys my primary outlets were purely physical. Lifting weights and training in jiu-jitsu were my go-tos.

Then the pandemic hit and those outlets changed dramatically overnight. Without the gym or the mats I found myself relying on drinking to cope. Realizing I needed a drastic change as well, I grabbed a copy of David Goggins’ book Can’t Hurt Me. The core message about chasing adversity really stuck with me.

I didn’t start running because I loved it. I started because I absolutely hated it, but I wanted to face my own adversity head-on. While the average guy might not relate to bodybuilding or martial arts, I knew everyone could understand the raw struggle of running even a single kilometre.

And boy did I ever run with that idea. From 2020 to 2025 I ran a total of 21,000 kms. That included tons of training to get me ready alongside the big race challenges I also took on.

When I started my run last year it was meant to be a coast-to-coast trip of 7500 kms. Then my crew chief, Glen, and I made a drastic shift. Instead, we dropped the daily distance from 100 to about 55 kms a day across 55 cities so we could run to people, not past them. Even with that I still ended up running over 70 ultramarathons worth of races in one go.

The result? Strangers began approaching our RV at every stop, eager to open up about what’s been weighing on them. I didn’t think we’d have that many people come. We were just there to listen.

To date I’ve been able to collect roughly $300,000 donations for mental health. True to my own style, I don’t plan on stopping there.

Deconstructing my mental health toolkit

During my own recovery I dove deep into mental health practices. From there, I began looking at things like anxiety and depression differently. I began to realize they aren’t a permanent, unchangeable state of existing — they’re complex responses to life challenges.

I sometimes struggle with these things still. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and it reminds me that I need to pay attention to my own body and mind with whatever I do.

When it comes to treating those challenges we need to remove the shame around tools like therapy or prescriptions from your doctor. If you break your leg you need a cast and crutches to heal. Medication can be a vital, short-term support when you’re in a dark place. Eventually, the cast comes off and you need a long-term lifestyle program to keep you moving forward.

Here’s what my daily mental fitness toolkit looks like:

  • Varying Physical Discipline: I change my activities every now and again to help introduce new and exciting challenges.
  • Nature Immersion: Getting outside helps me clear my mind and restore mental fatigue.
  • Structured Mindfulness: Making quality time to sleep or reset helps me manage anxiety spikes and regulate myself.
  • Honest Human Connection: Sitting down with like-minded guys over a coffee or on the jiu-jitsu mats breaks down the walls of loneliness.

Fatherhood at the halfway mark

At 48 years old, I’m a single dad to a nine-year-old daughter. Recently, it hit me that I’m exactly at the halfway mark of her childhood before she turns 18.

Knowing that a child’s psychological foundation forms heavily during the early years, I’ve shifted my priorities. I live just five minutes away from her and actively protect my parental schedule. Grand public gestures have taken a backseat to the small, vital moments like showing up for soccer practices, and going to her games while making sure I’m really there when I show up.

Balancing community-level advocacy with family presence is how I choose to model what it means to be a capable man while prioritizing connections that mean the most to me.

Progress over perfection

I didn’t figure everything out overnight. My path has been full of mistakes. I used to think being a “hard charger” meant going full throttle 100% of the time, but strength also means knowing when to pause.

Improving your overall health can be simple, if you allow it to be. For me it began with the willingness to stop running away from my problems. Whether that means connecting with a friend, stepping outside or asking for help, you just have to start today.

In 2020, John Armstrong made a deal with a colleague. The colleague had been putting off seeing a doctor, and so had John. They made a simple pact: if you go, I’ll go.

Turns out, the appointment that followed caught John’s prostate cancer just in time.

That pact is a part of why the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation (CMHF) is asking people to put their Suspenders On this men’s health month. Listen to what John, and others, had to say about it. These aren’t fundraising stories. They’re stories about men who knew, or whose families knew and waited too long anyway.


Guys can be known for staying quiet and holding everything in. That can lead to important things going unnoticed, and their health shouldn’t be left to chance. Just like trying to rely on your pants to stay up by themselves, sometimes you need a little extra reinforcement before things fall apart.

The story behind the suspenders

The idea was created with the help of John Armstrong and Graham Love. While brainstorming a fun way to raise funds for the cause, Graham was hit with a memory of his late grandfather — a Scottish shipbuilder who famously lounged on the beach in nothing but oversized trousers and a trusty pair of suspenders.

It clicked instantly. “Suspenders. We’ll ask people to wear suspenders.”

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Whether you’re a high-performing corporate executive, a professional athlete or a tradesperson swinging hammers on a job site you can identify with the pressure to maintain a tough exterior. Often men see self-reliance and grit treated as badges of honour. In reality, ignoring problems can cost you your health, your family, or your life.

The truth? You can be high-performing and struggle. It isn’t a sign of weakness to admit it; it’s a sign of leadership.

They work because people ask

Suspenders get noticed. And when someone asks why you’re wearing them, you’ve already started the conversation most of us never have — about a friend who should see a doctor, someone you’ve lost, or just the fact that men’s health matters. That’s the whole idea. The suspenders start it. You take it from there.

Who are you wearing them for?

But the campaign’s deeper meaning came from what people started wearing them for.

Graham Love is wearing his suspenders for his late brother, Andrew, who passed away from liver cancer — a tragedy that might have been prevented with an earlier checkup.

John Armstrong is wearing his for the men living on our streets who never got the support they needed. John is also a prostate cancer survivor who only caught his illness because he made a pact with a worried colleague to go get checked together.

Andrew Jackson of Jackson Events,  who’s rallying NHL alumni to the cause, wears his suspenders in memory of his close friend, Dale Hawerchuk, who passed away from stomach cancer. Dale made Andrew promise he would go see a doctor. Andrew thinks about that promise every day.

From hockey players in Moncton to construction crews on local job sites, people are noticing that when it comes to the well-being of guys, the cracks are starting to show. It’s time we lift each other up.

No suspenders? No problem.

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You don’t need to buy a brand-new pair of fancy suspenders to participate. The spirit of this campaign is all about improvisation and leveraging what you’ve got.

  • Got an old pair of bungee cords? Throw ‘em over your shoulders.
  • Not playing hockey this weekend? Repurpose those skate laces as suspenders.
  • Want the real deal? Grab a pair from Lynn Valley Manufacturing (the official Canadian makers who once made suspenders for the Red Green Show!), where $10 from every pair sold goes directly to CMHF.

Take action this month

We don’t have to struggle alone. This month, let’s turn a groundswell of awareness into a tsunami of real action.

  1. Snap a photo rocking your suspenders and post it with #SuspendersOn
  2. Donate to the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation to fund vital health programs.
  3. If a buddy opens up to you, you don’t need to fix anything. Just listen.
  4. Wear them somewhere people will ask.

Let’s bring back suspenders, listen to that little voice in the back of your head, and give your health the support it deserves.

Amid the chaos and celebration, Alan Millar was looking for a quiet moment with his son.

Hull City had just been promoted to the English Premier League by winning a white-knuckle playoff match at London’s iconic Wembley Stadium. For the team’s Canadian left winger, Liam Millar, it was a milestone on a journey that spanned countries, clubs, injuries, setbacks and years of family sacrifice. 

Up in the stands, Alan watched Liam scan the crowd. Then Liam spotted his dad and pumped his fist. Moments later, Alan jumped the barrier, only to be stopped by security. Liam told them to let him hug his dad. 

“It was all worth it,” Alan said to his son. “You made it. You’re a Premier League player.”

Six days later, Liam was named to Team Canada for the 2026 FIFA World Cup. 

For Alan, the Wembley embrace was about much more than Hull’s promotion victory. It was a father-son moment rooted in years of car rides, coaching sessions, hard choices and quiet support. At the same time, the long-time player, coach and referee also sees it as a symbol of how sports can uplift and connect people from all walks of life.

‘It’s about the relationships we build’

Long before Liam fought his way to the Premier League, he was simply a kid who wanted to be wherever the ball was.

“If I was going to soccer, whether I was coaching or playing, he was already in the car,” Alan recalls. “He wasn’t not coming.”

That early exposure mattered. As a youngster, Liam kicked a ball around on the sidelines while watching his father play in the Toronto Services Soccer League. What he saw at those games went beyond soccer and would stay with him forever, Alan says. “That environment helped shape not only his relationship with the sport, but also his understanding of what soccer can give people beyond wins and losses.”

Alan remembers Liam playing and training with friends in Oakville and Brampton, and going to the park to practice free kicks while pretending to be Cristiano Ronaldo. One of Liam’s closest friendships grew out of those years. More than a decade later, that bond is still there.

“It’s about the relationships we build,” Alan says. “When you’re bonding together to fight for something, you rely on each other.”

That, he believes, is one of the great overall strengths of community soccer. Players learn to trust others. They learn how to compete, how to lose, how to support teammates and how to stay connected.

“Those lessons last longer than any single season,” Alan says.

Staying fit with soccer

Like many older players, Alan has seen his own relationship with the game evolve. After a mild stroke, he took up walking soccer in a 50-plus league as part of his rehab.

At first, the slower pace frustrated him. Some of the older players, he jokes, seemed to run more than they were supposed to. But the experience reminded him of what he had always loved about the sport. “It made me feel alive again, the camaraderie and the friendship of it.”

Alan is realistic about his body’s limits. He has lived with multiple sclerosis for 20 years, works long hours and knows recovery takes longer than it used to. Walking soccer gave him a way to stay involved without pushing beyond what his body could handle.

That lesson applies to adult soccer leagues everywhere: staying in the game often means adjusting how you play. The competitive drive may still be there but warmups, pacing, recovery and knowing when to pull back become more important with age.

For Alan, the reward is worth it. Even when the game changes, the feeling of being part of a group remains. After all, staying fit with soccer isn’t just about physical health — it’s about mental health, too. The game gets people out of the house. It gives them a reason to move. It surrounds them with people who understand the easy banter and shared language of sport. “No matter what’s happening in your life, the minute you walk on that pitch, you just play,” Alan says.

That matters, especially for men who may otherwise become isolated. “Far too often, guys get left to their own devices and don’t feel like they can reach out to anybody,” Alan says.

Benefits beyond elite performance

Alan stresses that mental strength isn’t just about performing under pressure or pretending nothing hurts. Some of the family’s most difficult moments have shown the importance of vulnerability and support.

When Liam suffered a serious knee injury, Alan felt the helplessness many parents know well. He wanted to fix it, but he couldn’t — his role was simply to be there. “There’s nothing worse than telling your kids you can’t help them,” Alan says.

Around the same time Alan experienced his own mental health crisis after taking on too much at work. Telling Liam he wasn’t okay became an unexpected bonding moment between father and son. It reminded both of them that even the people who seem strongest need support.

Today, Alan sees soccer’s influence continuing through the next generation. Liam is now a father himself, with two of his three young daughters already playing the sport. Alan loves watching Liam coach them in the basement, setting up little drills the way Alan once did with him.

It’s a full-circle moment, one that proves that the game’s impact is not limited to elite performance. Soccer has given the Millar family structure, friendships, resilience, joy and a way to stay close across generations.

For parents raising soccer players who may or may not turn pro, Alan’s advice is grounded in balance: “Support them. Give them opportunities. Keep the game fun. Be realistic about the odds. And let the dream belong to them.”

Craig Black’s first memories of gambling are innocent enough. 

As a teenager, he and his friends joined sports pools organized by the adults around them. The stakes were small: $5 or $10 to pick winning teams during tournaments or playoffs, with someone winning the pot at the end. ”It felt fun and harmless,” the 53-year-old Toronto dad recalls.

Then, in 1992, Pro-Line came along. The Ontario sports lottery game, known as Oddset in British Columbia and Mise-O-Jeu in Quebec, requires players to fill out sheets and pick the winners of different games. 

In what felt like a natural extension of those early pools, Pro-Line “became something my friends and I did regularly,” Craig says. “We didn’t think twice about it becoming a problem.”

When a casual pastime becomes a risk

For many Canadian men, that casual beginning may sound familiar. But new research from the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation and Intensions Consulting suggests the line between recreational gambling and risk can be thinner than many people realize.

In a national survey of 2,000 Canadian men, one in six were found to be at high risk for problem gambling related harms. Young men between 19 to 29 were especially vulnerable with 35 percent falling into the high-risk category — more than double the national average. Fathers were also more likely to be at risk with 29 percent in the high-risk category.

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For Craig, what began as a casual activity among friends gradually became something more intense. His group would exchange picks, talk through ideas and follow games closely. The first big win brought a rush, and with it a sense of confidence that they knew what they were doing.

At the time, gambling gave Craig something to focus on. After university, he worked in a field that came with downtime and with plenty of opportunities to study numbers, check stats, text friends and build a sense of strategy around games. “It was entertainment, but it also started to feel like a challenge and, at times, like a side job.”

The warning signs

The shift from pastime to problem didn’t happen all at once. Bit by bit, gambling began taking up more of Craig’s attention. He found himself checking scores on his phone more frequently, calling friends for updates around the clock, and planning his weeks around all sorts of different teams and games. “It became more overwhelming than just some side hobby,” he says. “It became a main focus.”

One wake-up call came after a friend claimed to have a “lock” — gambling slang for a bet that supposedly cannot lose. Craig now sees that thinking for what it was: “Locks don’t exist.”

The bet didn’t come through, and the fallout fuelled tension among Craig and his friends. What had once been a shared pastime became an ongoing battle that eventually divided friendships and made Craig realize how serious things were.

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Another troubling moment came at a birthday party. Craig stepped out to submit a Pro-Line ticket before the games started. When he returned, the cake had already been brought out and the celebration had happened without him. His girlfriend was upset, and Craig could see why.

Gambling was no longer something that fit into his life. As time went on, his life kept getting interrupted by urges to place bets or check scores.

More than a money problem

That kind of disruption can extend far beyond finances. According to the new research, men at risk of problem gambling are nearly twice as likely to report moderate-to-high anxiety than low-risk gamblers. They are also more than 2.5 times as likely to report moderate-to-severe depression.

Owning his struggles wasn’t easy for Craig. “You never want to admit that gambling has become a problem, but when you start to review situations in your life where it has caused trouble between friends and family, you realize it’s getting out of control.”

Craig’s first step was reaching out to a friend who was in recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous. Although Craig’s issue wasn’t alcohol, he wondered whether some of the same tools could apply. His friend offered advice from his own recovery journey, and Craig began building a “toolkit” to use.

Building your recovery toolkit

Some of those tools were simple: going for a walk without a phone instead of placing a bet, turning off the phone while spending time with friends, and playing sports instead of only watching them with a bet on the line.

Over time, those habits helped Craig change his relationship with sports. He eventually reached a point where he could watch a game without thinking about betting on it. Sports became enjoyable again on their own terms.

That shift also changed his relationship with stress. Craig realized that the constant need to check scores, monitor outcomes and stay on top of bets was no longer fun. Instead, it was making him anxious.

Moving away from gambling meant learning to be present again with friends, family and himself. It also meant rebuilding trust in his own judgment, which took time. “You feel a sense of confidence that you’ve got this,” he says. “But often you don’t.”

Self-reflection became important. So did journaling and recognizing the difference between confidence and control. Craig’s recovery didn’t happen overnight. It took time and space to make changes in his life.

Finding a way forward

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For anyone who knows they have a gambling issue but is struggling to change, Craig offers this advice: “If you can build a toolkit that you can refer to when you feel that temptation, it goes a long way.”

Two more key steps, he adds, involve building support around yourself and being willing to be honest about how real the problem is.

Today, Craig sees a very different gambling environment than the one he encountered in his thirties. Online sports betting has made gambling more accessible, but it has also come with more guardrails. “The conversation around gambling has become more open and less stigmatized,” he says.

That openness matters. Gambling problems can escalate quietly behind a mask made of sports fandom, friendly banter and believing that the next bet is sure to be a winner. Craig’s story shows how easily that line can shift, and how meaningful it can be to notice, reach out and begin making changes. 

As well as gaining self-awareness, self-confidence, discipline and resilience, Craig is left with a sense of gratitude. “I’m grateful I was able to step back and see what gambling was taking from me before it took even more.”

Gambling help for Canadians

If you need to connect with someone or simply want more info or support for problem gambling in Canada, the Responsible Gambling Council has an excellent list of free resources listed on its website. You can check that out here.

The Canadian Men’s Health Foundation also offers free counselling in AB, BC, ON and QC which you can access through our MindFit Toolkit. 

On a cold November night in 2020, Brandon Hay was looking over the balcony of his 10th floor apartment.

“If I were to die right now, would anyone miss me?” he thought to himself. While COVID brought with it a universal feeling of isolation there was also something deeply personal.

Hay’s marriage of 16 years had just ended in divorce and this was the first time he’d moved to a new place all by himself. Standing there, questions about who he was as a man, a husband, and a father started to surface. “I hadn’t talked to my kids. I worked a remote job and wouldn’t talk to anyone,” said Hay.

Not long afterwards, Hay made a snap decision. “I put on some clothes quickly and drove to my kids’ house. My eldest son gave me this huge hug. I can’t explain how I melted in his arms,” he said. “I was always a ‘supporter’ as a dad. This was the first time one of my kids was like a supporter to me.”

Hay decided to use that vulnerable moment. He built an initiative that brings men facing isolation together: Sunday Dinners. A virtual and in-person gathering where Black men come together over food to talk, listen and remind each other they’re not alone.

Hay knows the plight of men and fathers facing loneliness well. A Jamaican immigrant and father of three sons, he founded the Black Daddies Club in Toronto in 2007, a space for Black men and fathers to talk openly, push back on negative media portrayals, and support each other’s mental health. 

He joined Dr. David Kuhl, vice-president of Research and Knowledge Mobilization at the Canadian Men’s Health Foundation and a UBC Professor, on the Don’t Change Much podcast for an honest conversation about what it really takes to show up as a father.

‘The key thing is that we don’t feel alone’

Sunday Dinners started as a way to fill the lost spaces where men would usually gather before COVID, like barbershops and restaurants. But it quickly became its own ‘third place’ where fathers felt comfortable opening up.

“A lot of the things that we’re navigating are coming from a place of shame. However, when another man is talking about the same thing, something shifts,” said Hay.

Today, Hay brings his training in Gestalt therapy to make Sunday Dinners more structured and intentional. Gestalt therapy is an approach that focuses on what a person is feeling and experiencing in the present moment, rather than analyzing the past.

“When men leave a Sunday Dinner they’re like, ‘I feel like I’m ready to take on the week.’… The key thing is that we don’t feel alone,” said Hay.

How to make fathers feel less alone is a topic Dr. Kuhl knows well. He has spent decades exploring fatherhood as a public health issue. His research looks at the impact of fathering and around being fathered. Kuhl’s most recent contribution can be seen in the State of the World’s Fathers report, one of the only global studies of its kind, surveying 8,000 parents and caregivers across 16 countries to better understand the pressures, challenges and experiences of fathers worldwide.

Dr. Kuhl’s father was physically present but emotionally aloof. A childhood experience that shaped his commitment to becoming a better father and to building programs that help other men do the same.

Hay’s father was defined by tragedy. His father in Jamaica was murdered, leaving him to figure out fatherhood entirely on his own.

A lot of us don’t have a manual when it comes to fatherhood. A lot of us are walking the path and figuring it out as we go.

Both men had to figure out — without a roadmap — what it actually meant to show up.

“Anybody can be a father. It takes a special man to be a dad,” said Dr. Kuhl.

When it comes to working with men, setting matters as much as the conversation. Men open up differently when they’re in motion or doing an activity together.

“Take them for a walk in the woods and you’ll get much further than when you’re in an office having them sit across from you,” said Kuhl.

Go where the men are

Hay’s work has consistently met guys wherever they’re at in life. Early in his career, he noticed what worked for mothers didn’t work the same way for fathers. The ‘if you build it, they will come’ approach simply didn’t apply.

“You have to build it with these men. And then you have to go to where they’re at,” said Hay.

That was the founding philosophy of Black Daddies Club, and it still is almost two decades later. Instead of building a program and waiting, Hay went to where Black men already were: barbershops. In Toronto (specifically in the Little Jamaica neighbourhood) barbershops were one of the few places where Black men lowered their guard and spoke openly.

“You see the masks slowly come down,” said Hay.

From those early sessions, he listened to what fathers actually wanted and needed.  He built programs around those conversations including Daddies and Me. A program where groups of Black fathers and their children attend Canadian football games, Cirque du Soleil and exhibitions at the Art Gallery of Ontario. The club also organized taboo discussions where men tackled topics otherwise considered difficult or off-limits, weekly family hikes and visits to fathers inside prisons in Ontario. 

For every dad figuring it out

On the surface, Hay and Dr. Kuhl seem to have little in common. One is a Black Jamaican immigrant navigating his own healing and now training to become a therapist. The other, a white Canadian-born physician and scholar who  has spent decades studying men’s health and fatherhood. Yet both are drawing on their relationships with their own fathers to help other men become the dads their own fathers couldn’t be.

Dr. Kuhl said a key test as a dad i is when your kid pushes you to your limits. In those moments, knowing yourself matters more than anything.

“You’re gonna get angry. It’s what you do with the anger and how you express it that makes a difference. If you have to step out of the room because you’re gonna say or do something you’re gonna regret, recognize that so you can actually step out of the room,” said Kuhl.

For Hay, it’s about finding your tribe.

If I’m in a space with all Black men, it’s not a workshop. It’s a ceremony.

“And a person in that room is going to say something that’s going to resonate with me in a way that I’ve never verbalized before. Even as I’m talking, I’m getting goosebumps.”

Hay is not seeking perfection as a father. But he keeps showing up, trying to make fathers feel seen and less alone. Because ultimately that’s what changed him.

“I wanted to do fathering differently than how I experienced it.” And according to Kuhl, Hay is already winning.

“We need more people like Brandon. To build a community that’s defined by men for men, it is the beginning,” said Kuhl.

“Be a Brandon!”

Before Shea Emry could pivot from pro football to long-drive prowess he had to do something much less impressive: Dig his golf clubs out of the snow.

Not a light dusting, either. This was Whistler. In winter. Minus 30. 

After years away from golf, Shea had signed up for an amateur long-drive event in Vancouver. There was just one problem; His golf clubs were in a storage unit buried under three feet of snow. “I had to leave the clubs in my house to melt because they were completely frozen,” the husband and father of two recalls with a laugh.

It wasn’t exactly a storybook training montage. His first golf-simulator event didn’t go much better: Shea got zero drives onto the fairway. 

But even in that rough first outing something clicked. The former CFL linebacker, two-time Grey Cup champion, TEDx speaker and Canadian Men’s Health Foundation (CMHF) National Champion had found a new competitive outlet in one of golf’s most exhilarating niches.

Three years, dozens of tournaments and countless big swings later Shea has become an elite long-drive athlete, having finished in the top 32 at the 2025 World Championships. Now, he’s bringing his proven skill, celebrated energy and inspiring attitude to golf tournaments across Canada in support of the CMHF.

Shea’s involvement gives tournament organizers a headline activation that is fun, memorable and purpose-driven. At its core is a simple idea: Use the spectacle and camaraderie of a long-drive competition to raise funds while opening the door to real conversations about men’s health.

Why long-drive elevates any golf fundraiser

With many tournaments already featuring long-drive holes, long-drive competitions require little explanation. “It’s a classic part of the day that everyone can instantly understand,” Shea says. “You hit the ball and you get the result.”

Likewise, little encouragement is needed for players to take part. “When you’re on a course with a bunch of guys, there’s always a little bravado and machismo kicking around. Guys care about who hits the ball the furthest.”

That said, a day with Shea isn’t just about putting heavy hitters in the tee box. It’s designed to elevate the entire tournament. Shea works with organizers to shape the activation around the event, whether that means a long-drive demonstration before tee-off, an enhanced on-course competition or short but impactful messages that tie the day back to men’s health.

The key is flow. Golf tournaments have their own rhythm, and Shea understands that better than most. After all, he has spent years enhancing golf tournaments and leading team building through his corporate events company.

‘A powerful metaphor for life’

There’s an easy misconception about long-drive in thinking it’s all about brute force. Yes, power matters. Yes, speed matters. Yes, there is something primal about standing in the tee box and trying to send a golf ball into another postal code.

But Shea knows from experience that adding muscle isn’t necessarily the answer. “When you try to hit a golf ball as hard as possible, what happens? It goes into the woods.”

That’s why long-drive is about more than golf. “It’s a powerful metaphor for life,” Shea says. “When you brute-force and storm your way through life, it negatively affects people. But when you put a little more attention into how you approach things, you get a better result.”

Men know what it feels like to push too hard, to carry too much or try to muscle through stress, family pressure, work demands or health concerns. However, that approach can send life into the woods too. A long-drive competition gives Shea a way to deliver those kinds of messages without making the day feel heavy. 

More than a tournament add-on

For organizers, Shea’s long-drive experience is designed to be flexible. It can serve as an electrifying pre-tournament moment on the range. It can turn a driving range, or any sufficiently long fairway, into a long-drive showdown players are still talking about long after the 18th hole. It can be woven into opening remarks, post-play receptions or awards presentations. It can also be supported by CMHF materials such as banners, postcards, brochures, cart cards and digital assets for pre-event promotion.

For events seeking a deeper connection to the cause, the CMHF can provide speakers ranging from Champions to CEO Kenton Boston, who can highlight men’s health and the impact of fundraising. Organizers can even host a live podcast featuring Shea alongside CMHF podcast hosts Mike Cameron and Trevor Botkin.

Driving men’s health forward

The best fundraising events do more than raise money. They create memorable shared experiences, give people a reason to care and bring causes to life.

Golf is a natural fit for men’s health fundraising because it connects people in a way that feels natural and familiar. You’re outside. You’re moving. You’re with a foursome. There is time between shots, time in the cart, time at the range and time afterward to talk. For many men, that kind of shoulder-to-shoulder connection feels more comfortable than sitting across from someone and being asked to open up.

Shea’s long-drive experience enhances that connection. It gives the tournament a focal point. It creates powerful shared memories. And it gives participants a different way to think about strength.

For Shea, the chance to connect his love of long-drive with giving back is the best part. “I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity to spend my time and energy doing what I love in an effort to give back to the community.”

If you’re hosting a golf tournament and would like to support the CMHF, we can help you build an event with purpose. All the way from a headline long-drive activation with Shea to speakers, event materials to meaningful men’s health messaging throughout the day.

To explore options and availability, contact:

Taylor Bruce

[email protected]

I’ve been working with Club 16 Trevor Linden Fitness for years. I’ve also been a new dad. So I can tell you from both sides that nothing quite prepares you for what happens to you (and your routine) when a kid arrives.

As Director of Fitness Experience I oversee the personal training team at our gyms. Over the past 20 years, a lot of the guys I’ve worked with are new dads. We joke about the dad bod. It’s a cultural shorthand, a kind of knowing nod. But there’s more going on than most guys realize.

On average, new fathers drop about three hours of exercise per week after their first child. Those with bigger families may see an extra three-hour drop per kid. 

There are a lot of factors to this. You’re now running on less sleep, less time and a completely rearranged sense of self. Your body is changing in ways that go beyond skipping leg day.

Although we don’t need to wonder if this happens, we do need to work through why it happens. 

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What’s actually happening to your body

I see it at the gym all the time. Dads coming through the door not because they want six-pack abs but because something stopped working. They can’t stay focused at work. Their energy’s gone by noon. They picked up their kid wrong and now their back is shot. That’s usually what gets them in.

I frame what’s going on in three categories. because it’s never just one thing.

  1. The routine: sleep is being destroyed, activity levels tank and you’re eating whatever’s fast or left on your kid’s plate. 
  2. The physical: testosterone drops, cortisol climbs. 
  3. The mental: Stress and depression can happen quietly with new dads.

Research backs this up. A study of over 10,000 men found that fathers typically gained more than four pounds after their first child. Your body is responding to one of the most significant disruptions of your adult life — it’s simply biology.

Understanding that matters because so many dads come in beating themselves up. They think they got soft because they stopped caring. Usually, it’s because they were doing everything they could just to keep up and fitness got squeezed out of a schedule that seemed to have no room left.

Why dads fall off

Time is part of it. However, in my experience guilt is just as big a factor.

Spending an hour at the gym can start to feel selfish once you’re a dad. Your partner is tired. The baby needs you. There are a hundred things on the list. The guy who used to block off his evenings for training doesn’t fit in as well anymore. If there’s hardly any time to go all out on training, why do it at all?

That all-or-nothing thinking is one of the most common things I help guys break out of. The gap between their old routine and what’s actually realistic now feels impossible to bridge. It’s about meeting guys where they’re at.

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When someone comes to me, the first conversation isn’t about what an ideal program looks like. It’s about what they can actually commit to. What times have the lowest chance of getting cancelled? Before the kids are up? Lunch? After they’re in bed? 

We start there. We build something consistent before we build something ambitious. At Club 16 we have an app which lets me support clients between sessions — logged workouts, nutrition coaching, accountability — so they’re not on their own when life gets in the way.

What getting back looks like

The goal isn’t the body you had before kids. That’s just not realistic. 

The goal is a body that makes everything else easier. Better sleep. More energy. The ability to get through a full day without crashing. Two to three hours of workouts a week can support every other part of a busy dad’s life. That’s the baseline worth building toward.

When my first daughter was born our daycare plans fell through and I ended up staying home with her for that first year. I had to figure out how to keep fit on the fly. For me it meant things like long walks with the stroller, bodyweight workouts in the garage during nap time. I wasn’t hitting the gym five days a week. I was finding pockets of movement wherever they were.

There’s research showing that doing 10 squats every 45 minutes during an eight-hour workday can be more effective for your health than a single 25-minute walk for breaking up sitting and raising your heart rate. That’s the kind of thing I tell clients who think they need a two-hour block to make fitness count. You don’t. You need consistency.

On the nutrition side, we don’t do meal plans or macro tracking at Club 16 . Instead, we start with small habits like drinking more water, getting two palmfuls of protein with every meal. Sustainable changes that don’t require a lifestyle overhaul.

Within the first few weeks of consistent training most clients start noticing the same things: sleep improves, energy returns, confidence builds. That’s what keeps them going.

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The role-model effect

Staying fit isn’t time away from the kids. It’s something you’re doing for them. That’s what keeps me motivated.

I coach my son’s ball hockey team. I run practice. I can keep up on the floor. That’s only possible because I’ve stayed committed to my own fitness. 

I did that partly because I wanted my kids to grow up seeing physical activity as something normal that their dad did. Not something that belonged to a version of their dad who existed before they arrived.

Kids notice. They notice whether you have energy at the end of the day. They notice whether you show up to their games and actually move around. The habits they build around health and physical activity are shaped by what they see at home. Dads carry a lot of influence there, whether they realize it or not.

Starting off small

You don’t need to reclaim the body you had before kids. You need a body that lets you keep up with the life you have now.

Start small like a longer walk with the stroller, a few squats every hour. Something consistent you can keep up with. The finer details get worked out from there.

If you want support in figuring out what that looks like for your schedule there’s help out there for you. Stick with the ones who will meet you where you are — not where you think you should be. 

What do you think is the most challenging thing to keep up with being a dad? Share in the comments below!

On the surface, the latest Netflix documentary Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere looks like a dive into the fringe corners of social media. Muscular men rattle out advice to young men about women and wealth — thinly veiled misogyny dressed up with Lamborghinis and swanky condos as ‘evidence’ that the methods work.

It would be fringe if it lived in tucked-away corners of the internet. But Samuel Tanner, a criminology professor at the Université de Montréal, warns it’s already in the bedrooms of Canadian boys. The entry point to this content isn’t the loud, spectacular influencers Theroux profiles. It’s something far more subtle and easier to miss: sigma male content.

Tanner (along with PhD student François Gillardin) analyzed nearly 1,000 TikTok videos of speeches that spread harmful ideas about women. The content is mainly directed to men and promotes a version of masculinity where men have control over women.

Tanner says  ‘sigma male’ isn’t really a personality type. It’s more of an idea that gets talked about and shared online. He adds that it “is defamatory towards women, the LGBTQ+ community and promotes a ‘hegemonic masculinity’ that signals dominance of men over women.” It spreads through algorithms and meme culture — getting shared, remixed and evolving as it goes. 

Tanner says young boys “appropriate this kind of discourse,” meaning they take the content, change it slightly, but use the same hashtags, format and music.

What sigma male content looks like

Tanner got interested in this topic because of first-hand experience. He and Gillardin noticed a common pattern in videos that popped up on their TikTok and Instagram feeds: videos expressing varying degrees of harmful attitudes towards women, ranging from disinterest and rejection to hate and humiliation.

“When I say humiliation, they were kind of silly videos. You see three young girls seated on a bench and then there’s this guy coming with a rose, giving one of them a rose. The girl reacts, ‘Oh, wow.’ And then you see the guy kneeling, lacing up his shoe, and then he takes the rose back and leaves. And these videos always had this image of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, laughing, nodding … as if to say: this is how you have to behave towards women.”

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The Patrick Bateman ‘meme’

The humour (and meme) trap

Tanner says the real issue is how these videos end. Usually with humour and a nod to popular meme culture. That humour makes the content easier to share, without people stopping to think about the harm it can cause.

“Humour is a homosocial currency,” says Tanner, meaning it’s a big part of how young men connect. He says it allows harmful ideas to be shared without much pushback and over time it lowers the bar for what feels acceptable when talking negatively about women and other communities.

Another problem with sigma male content is that not all of it is harmful — or at least not at the outset. Tanner explains that some of the content under the Sigma umbrella is about self-improvement. He shares typical reactions from young boys who participated in his research.

“The more they watched it, the more they could relate to it at some point. They were like, if we consider white men in society right now, it seems that we are the cause of all the harms in society, after #MeToo, EDI politics, all of these things they refer to as ‘progressivism’, ‘modernity’, ‘woke culture’. And they were like, at least in Sigma we can focus on ourselves. This is a communication that helps us become the best version of ourselves, by going to the gym, taking care of our body, our diet, our discipline, telling us that we should not spend too much time with girls because it’s an obstacle.”

This kind of “self-help” content quickly shifts into messages that tell boys to distance themselves from women or dismiss their experiences. These ideas can have a big impact on teen boys who are still learning to understand what healthy relationships look like.

Tanner warns that it can make it feel normal to distance yourself from certain groups.

“And we know through history that when people came to that point, it doesn’t bring good things to humanity.”

So after watching close to 200 sigma male videos and interviewing 15 young boys, what did Tanner make of the Netflix documentary? He has mixed reactions.

What the Netflix documentary got right, and wrong

Tanner says host and executive producer, Louis Theroux, did a decent job of challenging the influencers and their controversial (sometimes contradictory) narratives. But he has two main criticisms: one, that it didn’t show the consequences on women, and secondly: the documentary focused on the most spectacular, dramatic and loud voices from the ‘manosphere’ which failed to capture the broader problem.

Tanner says sigma male content is an ‘entry’ point to more harmful ideologies because it’s an entry point into the shadowy alleys of the manosphere.

“This is where we should be careful and use all our precautions for young boys that are interested in sigma male content, so that they don’t get into more radical ideas because it shifts very rapidly.”

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What parents can do about it

So why are boys seeking this content out at all? For Tanner, the answer lies in a deeper struggle. He says many young boys carry an existential void and struggle with a fractured sense of their own masculinity.

“Young boys today are struggling to understand what it means to be masculine, how to behave with girls, how they feel about their own identity. And the masculinist discourse has become so big that when they search for answers on the tools they’re using, this (sigma content) is the information they find.”

Tanner has simple advice for Canadian families: Talk about it.

“Why not watch the Netflix documentary with your 14-year-old boy and ask, ‘What do you think about that? The guys have nice cars, they seem to have nice girls … but is this thing appealing to you?’ We have to go with the flow. And at least establish a link so kids know they can talk about these things with their parents. Whatever the resources, just do it.”

For parents who feel unqualified to have that conversation, Tanner has a reassuring message: “It’s not about knowledge, it’s about good sense.”

“I think we owe that conversation to our children.”

I’ve spent years researching how men think about their health, identity as well as how they can influence others and one thing keeps coming up.

Whether I’m talking to guys back in Canada, here in Australia or anywhere in between I find most men genuinely want to show up well for the younger generation. They just don’t always know how. Or (more often) they think they need to have it all figured out first.

They don’t, and that’s actually the whole point.

If you’re a dad, an uncle, a coach, an older brother or a guy who has a younger man in his orbit, then you already have more influence than you realize. The question isn’t if you’re a role model. You already are. The question is, what kind?

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Good role models don’t need to be perfect

One major thing I’ve learned from working with guys over the years is that you don’t need to have the world figured out to be someone worth watching. In fact, pretending you do might cause more harm than good.

How boys and young men absorb ideas about what it means to be a man isn’t straightforward. It isn’t a sit-down conversation that you explain in one go. It’s a whole collection of experiences. Like watching what the men around them do when they’re stressed, how they talk (or don’t talk) about hard stuff, whether they ask for help or just push through.

Historically, that’s meant young guys inherit a kind of quiet understanding of how they show up as a man. Not a conscious handoff of values, but a set of unspoken rules picked up through observation. A lot of those rules, like “man up” and “just move on,” haven’t served us well. 

At the same time, young guys today are facing a particularly confusing moment. The old playbook is being challenged, and rightly so. But there’s a loud response online in ‘the manosphere’ that’s trying to push back against positive masculine values. It isn’t just a fringe thing anymore. The algorithms push it hard and it’s giving guys a sense of identity at a time when they’re looking for one.

That’s where the real-life role model becomes more valuable than ever.

Not every guy needs to become an influencer or start a podcast. But working within your sphere of influence — as a father, a brother, a coach, a workmate — is where the important work can happen. In the moments that actually stick.

And here’s the thing, you don’t need to have all the answers for that to work. When I share that I’m still figuring some of this out myself is when quality mentorship happens. It tells young guys it’s okay to be a work in progress and that they’re not alone in the confusion. During those moments, real-life person-to-person support becomes more valuable than ever. 

How to show boys it’s okay to feel

Something I hear a lot from the men I work with is “I want to be there for him, I just don’t know what to say.” Honestly, that’s the right place to start. The struggle usually isn’t that men don’t care. It’s just that nobody ever handed them the vocabulary.

A lot of men weren’t raised with language for emotions. Not their fault, but it’s a gap. Thankfully it closes with practice. The first step is recognizing that you don’t need a perfect script. You need a way in.

That’s where things like metaphors do some heavy lifting. In my research, the men who were most comfortable talking about hard stuff weren’t the ones using clinical language. They were the ones who’d found a frame that fit their world.

Sports metaphors can work really well. For example: every athlete knows what it means to play through an injury that should have been treated, to run on empty, to need a game plan when the first one falls apart. They know they can’t win a game on their own and need the help of their team (on and off the field) to make a comeback.

That kind of language already lives in your mind. Go ahead and use it. Draw the lines between mental health and the way you’d think of your fitness. You train, you recover, you get a second opinion when something isn’t right. The same logic applies. Tune up your car, tune up your head. It sounds simple, because it is. Simple is what opens doors.

The other piece is timing. The instinct for a lot of men is to wait and share their experience from a position of ‘I figured it out’ rather than ‘I’m in the thick of it’. That feels safer. But it can send a message that the struggle is the part you hide. What lands with young men is hearing someone else say I’m having a tough time right now too. That normalizes it. 

An easy way to remember these steps is with the ALEC approach.

Ask: How are they and what’s been happening lately?

Listen: By giving them your full attention

Encourage Action: To make steps towards feeling better

Check-in: Follow up regularly to see how things are going

You don’t need a long conversation. Ask how he’s really doing and wait for the answer. Don’t fill the silence or rush to fix things. Most days, being heard is the fix.

Creating a safe space for boys to open up

I’ll say it again: you do not need to have all the answers.

The most powerful shift you can make as a mentor is moving from an authority figure towards seeing yourself as a guide. That way the pressure drops considerably, and the conversation gets better.

Another common mistake is well-intentioned help missing the mark because the helper defaulted to problem-solving when the other guy just needed to be heard.

One guy I spoke to who was going through a breakup had a buddy show up to help him move and take him out for a beer. Great intentions, wrong function. Turns out what the guy needed was someone to sit with him and listen during the hard times.

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Ask instead of assuming. “What can I do to help?” is a question that only takes a second, but can help get you both on the same page about what they need right now.

Context matters too. Some of the best conversations don’t happen face-to-face across a table. They happened side by side, walking, driving, doing something together. The shared activity is a pathway in. Use it. Just make sure the activity isn’t also the ceiling that stunts your growth.

Why men need to take care of themselves too

Men who are focused on being good mentors, providers and protectors are usually the last ones to check in on themselves. I get it. Looking outward and thinking about the people around you is an excellent quality to have.

But here’s the piece I circle back to: are you practising the values you’re promoting? Self-care sometimes gets dismissed as selfishness. I’d argue it’s the opposite. Looking after yourself is important, and it keeps you strong.

Exercise is a good example of how this can cut both ways. Movement has real mental health benefits, no question about it. But when it becomes purely about looking good or about avoiding something uncomfortable, it stops being self-care and becomes a way to run from things. The same goes for staying busy, throwing yourself into work or just being “fine” all the time.

The guys I’ve spoken to in my research were clear about what they want most from the men around them. Deeper more authentic connections, not performance. They can tell the difference, so show them the real thing.

Check your own stuff

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This is the part nobody really wants to hear, so I’ll keep it short.

The most important thing you can do for the young men in your life is to do some honest work on yourself. Not because you need to be perfect — you don’t. Pretending otherwise is no good. But because the values you’re transmitting are always going to be filtered through who you actually are, not who you’re trying to project.

Take a look at the values you may have been raised with. Strength, reliability, those aren’t the problem. But when those values get tangled up with the idea that expressing yourself or your emotions is a sign of weakness, then we’ve got a problem.

Get curious about your own thoughts. Notice when you start to avoid certain things. Ask yourself whether the way you handled something is the way you’d want someone else to learn how to handle it.

Opening up about your own challenges as a man can work as a form of mentorship. By doing so, you allow others to connect with you and learn how you navigated them and how they can learn from any mistakes made. Sometimes the younger guys can even help you find solutions to your problems. These teachings can be a two-way street which benefits everyone.

Ultimately, be the change you want to see. It’s an old line for a reason.

The effort is the point

Nobody gets it right all the time. I certainly don’t. The guys in my research don’t. The best role models I’ve encountered are the ones who kept showing up anyway.

Change takes time and isn’t always visible. You don’t need to fix everything at once. Just show up, stay real and use your influence as best as you can — that’s how we move forward, together.