In my sessions as a Registered Counsellor, I often hear men struggle to make themselves a priority. Many deeply believe that being a caretaker and provider means sacrificing their needs for family and friends.
Self-care might sound like a marketing buzzword or something that only women do, but it’s crucial for maintaining mental and physical health. It’s not uncommon for men to feel like self-care is too “soft” or unnecessary. Society often portrays men as stoic and self-sufficient, but this mindset can be harmful.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t make you weak; it makes you smart. When you’re at your best, you’ll handle life’s challenges more effectively and be there for your loved ones.
Let’s dive into what self-care means for men and how to incorporate it into your busy life.
Signs you need some self-care
Bitterness, irritability, resentment, fatigue, anxiety, depression, and burnout are all potential signs.
Resentment, in particular, is a big one. When I hear men talk about resenting or blaming others for not helping (at home, at work, etc.), or about feeling overwhelmed by their responsibilities, these are clear signs that they struggle to assert and commit to their self-care needs.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, irritable, or constantly tired, it’s time to step back and evaluate what’s happening. This might mean scheduling a massage, taking a day off work, or even just spending a few quiet minutes each day to decompress.
Why self-care matters
Reduces stress. Taking time for yourself can lower stress levels and help you better manage daily pressures.
Improves physical health. Simple acts like stretching, proper hydration, and regular exercise keep your body feeling good.
Boosts mental health. Activities you enjoy lift your mood and improve your outlook.
Enhances relationships. When you feel good, you’re better equipped to support and connect with the people you care about.
The seven pillars of self-care
Self-care for men isn’t about spa days and bubble baths (though if that’s your thing, go for it!). It’s about taking intentional steps to improve your well-being. In my experience working with men, this can often be overlooked or dismissed.
Here’s an example: You feel tired and want to veg out and watch TV. But you’re actually tired because you’re in physical pain due to an injury. What would serve you better at that moment is stretching, taking a long, hot shower, or booking a massage. Self-care often means choosing to check in rather than check out.
There are seven pillars of self-care covering different areas of your life. Let’s break them down:
1. Mental
Taking care of your mental health can help you cope with everyday stresses, work productively, and contribute to your community. Maintaining a sense of curiosity can help create a healthy mindset, like learning something new, taking an intentional break from screens, and writing down your thoughts.
2. Emotional
This involves acknowledging and expressing your emotions. Talking to a friend or embracing quiet time can help you tune into what you’re feeling.
3. Physical
Taking care of your body through exercise, proper nutrition, and sufficient sleep. Even simple things like walking or stretching can make a big difference.
4. Environmental
Your surroundings can impact your well-being. Keeping your living and working spaces clean and organized creates a more positive atmosphere.
5 . Spiritual
This can mean different things to different people. It might involve meditation, prayer, or time in nature to connect with your inner self.
6. Recreational
Engaging in hobbies and activities that you enjoy. Whether it’s playing sports, hiking, or gaming, make sure to have some fun.
7. Social
Maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family, and your community. Social interactions can provide support and a sense of belonging.
Practical self-care for busy guys
Incorporating self-care doesn’t have to be complicated. Start small. Changing a single habit in your routine can make you feel lighter and breathe easier. Find a time of day that works for you and set aside 10-15 minutes to do something other than looking at a device.
Here are some simple ways to weave self-care into your daily routine:
Wake up earlier
Get up 15 minutes earlier than usual, and give yourself time to think about how you want your day to go. Sit somewhere alone, drink coffee, and look at the sky in silence. Starting the day with intention can help you ease into the day confidently.
Learn something new on your commute
Listen to an inspiring audiobook or podcast.
As an example, if you struggle to start exercising or eating healthy, a book about developing new habits might help.
Slow down and take a mental break
Does it ever feel like your mind is moving faster than your body? When you notice this, you are likely rushing and unaware of yourself and your surroundings. Take a few deep breaths and slow yourself down.
Park farther away
It’ll only add a few minutes to get to your destination, giving you exercise, fresh air, and the chance to see something new. Novelty can open your mind to new possibilities.
Keep a bottle of water close
In your daypack, car, etc. Staying hydrated will energize you, help you focus, and reduce your need for caffeinated or sugary drinks.
Seek professional help when needed
Sometimes, it takes work to know what you need. Self-care defaults like drinking, gaming, or doom-scrolling on social media take the place of healthier habits simply because you have yet to learn them. A professional can help you become aware of your struggles with self-care and develop action plans so you feel motivated and confident.
Self-care reminder
Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s about finding what works best for you and making it a regular part of your life.
Start small, stay consistent, and note each positive change’s benefits. You’ll improve your well-being and set an example for others to follow.
What helps bring you to a good place when you’re having a hard time? We’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Feeling off?
Start here.
Free tools to help you deal with stress, anxiety, and tough stretches.
