How do you treat rapid ejaculation?

First, forget about the shame and blame. Turn off that nagging voice in your head, and get smart about rapid ejaculation. It’s a medical condition, and it’s treatable.

Secondly, talk to your partner. If you’re intimate enough to be having sex, you’re intimate enough to talk about it before and afterwards. Talk, listen and ask questions… you’re on the same team.

Read below for treatment option for rapid ejaculation:

The Stop-Start Technique

This is currently the most recommended form of physical therapy for rapid ejaculation. Basically, it’s a series of exercises that you undertake, with your partner if possible. The idea is to identify and communicate your level of excitement and arousal, then to learn to stop all movement and stimulation just before you reach the point of no-return or “ejaculatory inevitability”.

Let all the excitement dissipate, and then start again, slowly. Repeat three times, slowly. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Finally, after the third time, just relax, enjoy, and let it happen.

Start practicing three times a week, twenty to thirty minutes each time. You can begin with self-stimulation, and graduate over time to exercises with your partner. At first, practice with non-intercourse activities (take the Palmer Twins on a date, as the saying goes). Once you’re sure that you’re totally in control, you can move onto intercourse with a partner.

Don’t get discouraged; it’s going to take about 30 minutes, 3 times a week, for 3 months to see some progress. Your ejaculatory control will improve over time, but you’ve got to be patient. You might want to consult a sex therapist, a psychologist or a family doctor who deals with sexual problems while you are doing this program to deal with any doubts, resistance, or communication barriers.
Checking in with your partner about how “close” you are while have sex may seem a little strange at first, but it can actually lead to increased intimacy as you explore and communicate about your body in the moment.

Sensate Focus Exercises

In addition to the Start-Stop Technique, Sensate Focus Exercises can also be helpful. If the sessions are strained or anxious situations, then these exercises will help take away the pressure to perform. They employ touching, tickling, exploring and communicating techniques to help couples eliminate anxiety, and learn relaxed enjoyment. Sometimes it’s even fun to leave the clothes on and invoke a “No Intercourse” rule for a few weeks while you settle down and relax.

The Squeeze Technique

Self-help books and magazines used to suggest guys use the “squeeze technique” to keep themselves from ejaculating. The idea is to squeeze the tip of the penis just before ejaculation in order to prevent it from happening. Usually, this just results in a flaccid penis and a sticky hand. Plus, this technique doesn’t exactly lend itself to situations with… you know, a partner.

Kegel Exercises

Get with the program, dudes; women have been doing Kegel exercises for years. These involve the isometric tightening of the muscles of the pelvic floor for 10 seconds, repeated in sets of 15 as many times a day as you think of it (go ahead — try it right now). Basically, you’re toning these muscles in order to strengthen them… think of it as a trip to the gym for your penis.

SSRIs

A class of anti-depressants called SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors), like Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, etc., were noticed to have the side-effect of altering sexual function, including the delaying of ejaculation. The drug resets the threshold for initiating the ejaculation reflex. This can be used to advantage, to delay ejaculation, but it is not a cure, only a treatment. That means that, unlike the Stop–Start exercises, the problem usually returns whenever the treatment is discontinued. That is why the Stop–Start Technique is preferable as first-line treatment. Some doctors suggest daily treatment with the pills for two weeks, then just when necessary thereafter, at about 5pm on days of planned intercourse.

Men who ejaculate prematurely who don’t have a regular partner are caught between a rock and, er… a hard place. They’re often too embarrassed to find a partner, and without the help of a willing partner, it’s not easy to improve control. A pill, like an SSRI, will help them perform without prematurely ejaculating early in a relationship, but at some later point in time, they will still need to discuss the issue with their partner and embark on a mutually rewarding course of Stop–Start Therapy.

Note: Use of these SSRI drugs for treating rapid ejaculation is what is called off-label use. That means that the drug is not officially approved by the FDA for this use.

Viagra

Some experts advocate the use of sildenafil (Viagra) or a similar erection-enhancing method for treating rapid ejaculation. Without having to worry about losing his erection once he’s ejaculated, it is claimed, the man will be able to do the exercises without all the performance anxiety which often confounds the best of intentions. This method isn’t recommended it as an initial approach, but it is worth trying if exercises alone become problematic.

Conclusion

Ejaculation involves a complicated and coordinated interaction between the nerves and muscles of the pelvic floor, the urethra, the vas deferens, as well as various adjacent glands, ducts and vesicles. We’re only now beginning to identify and understand the neurotransmitters that regulate ejaculation, and how they work. Good drug treatments and (probably even better) gene therapies are hopefully not more than a few years away.

In the meantime, remember this: guys who live with rapid ejaculation for a long time have a tendency to develop a poor self-image. They doubt their masculinity and they tend to feel a general dissatisfaction with life. Controlling ejaculation is only part of the solution for these men. It’s important to realize that the Hollywood Stud and Sexual Superhero figures don’t exist in the real world.

Communicating openly and honestly with your partner and your physician is more important than trying to appear manly or tough. Let go of the myths, and take charge of your sexual health.

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